Diary of a Writer (a creative piece)

7:15am Turn off first alarm.

8:13am Wake up wondering what happened to the second alarm. Must have turned it off in sleep.

9:01am Wake up again with dog staring at me because he needs to go outside. Get up & take dog out. Thank god for dog or might never get out of bed. Hey--that's an anagram. Dogodogodog.

9:12am Feed dog. Nuke coffee. Check email & social media while eating granola bar.

10:01am Tear self away from computer--because it sucks brain out through eyeballs--and go sit on couch. Spend 40 minutes staring at wall letting thoughts flow freely.

10:41am Launch self off couch in fit of inspiration. Must capture brilliant idea before it flits out of head! Halfway across the room, get distracted by copious amounts of dog hair on carpet. Detour to closet for vacuum cleaner. Must take advantage of motivation to clean, as it arises rarely. Surely will remember brilliant idea for the 5 mins. it takes to vacuum rug.

10:47am Might as well vacuum rest of living room, dining room, & bedroom while at it.

11:13am Notice dirty plate & cup from last night's dinner on coffee table. Take into kitchen.

11:14am Kitchen counter covered in dirty dishes. Start washing up.

11:39am Kitchen is spotless. Now. What was that brilliant idea?

11:55am Give up trying to remember. Break for lunch.

1:30pm Ugh. Post-food coma. Also have just spent last half hour overloading brain with Twitter feed. Must nap. Just for 20 minutes.

3:04pm Wake from nap feeling disoriented, fuzzy-headed & grumpy. Vaguely recall some disturbing dream involving pantyhose & best friend's ex-boyfriend. Resume Writing Position.

Writing tools

4:00pm Add "paint nails" to day's to-do list & cross off as have just spent last 40 minutes doing so while watching old episodes of What Not to Wear. Also add & cross off "do dishes" and "vaccum."

4:02pm Check email & social media accounts to see if anything inspires. When have finished cycle, start over again as someone may have emailed/messaged while was checking other accounts. Repeat cycle several times.

5:00pm Break for dinner.

5:26pm Receive text from friend re: going to bar tonight. Decide can afford to do so as long as leave by 8pm & have no more than two drinks. Besides, conversation may inspire writing idea.

10:07pm Arrive home from bar. Three drinks makes it difficult to concentrate. Will just make quesadilla and drink some water.

10:10pm While quesadilla cooks, chastise and belittle self for fucking off all day and not writing. Why? Why won't you just write?? Realize it's because am terrified. Terrified that when I start writing I won't like it. It'll fall short of the idea. I won't get it right. Or the idea, once written, will turn out to be stupid. Terrified that people won't like it. Which people? I don't know. I have no idea who I'm writing for. Or scared I'll write a bunch of slop & it will have been a huge waste of time. All of the above. I don't want to be afraid of writing. It's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Have to get over this. Have to just make self sit down and write some bad sentences. Yes, that feels better already. "Bad sentences" = no pressure. Just play & practice.

10:15pm Can't write & eat at same time though, so will just watch one episode of La Femme Nikita while eating.

11:58pm Second episode of La Femme Nikita ends. Feel very sleepy after all that beer & cheese. Am useless now; might as well go to bed. Tomorrow can start fresh.