It's time once again for me to check back in on my writing goals and report progress/challenges. It's been an eventful week: I had two float sessions and, as a result, wrote two more pieces for Float On; as a result of floating and/or preparing for my upcoming reading and/or what I've been reading and/or all the fun I've been having lately, I managed to reconnect with my creative playfulness, which feels awesome and has resulted in some new poems; and last but not least, I remembered how inspiring it is to read certain writers/types of writing.

All this is reflected in this week's ROW80 Update.
  "A Round of Words in 80 Days is the writing challenge that knows you have a life."

Show up to writing 2-3 hours/day. Although I haven't necessarily been putting in a solid 2-3 hours every day, I continue to show up regularly, and I've felt particularly inspired the last few days, which makes me excited about my writing (and excited to do this reading on Saturday). This past week I've written the two aforementioned pieces for the Float On Writers' Program, a couple of new poems, the description of the upcoming reading, and a new travel blog post in addition to my posts for this blog.

Confronting terror

by Cara Christine Hubbell

Every so often I'll come across an idea that fills me with irrational terror. I felt that way about the idea of reading a particular nonfiction piece in front of a roomful of strangers, knowing that I was incapable of reading the piece aloud without crying. It's not the terror associated with any real danger; it's associated with the illusion of a lack of safety, usually emotional/psychological. I'd been mocked and ridiculed for my tendency to blush or cry at the drop of a hat when I was younger. I'd learned not to show my feelings, not to be vulnerable to my peers. Kids can be real assholes.

But as an adult, I didn't need to hold onto that fear anymore. So I chose to confront it. I read my piece, I cried pretty much the entire time, and if anyone thought less of me for it, they had the decency not to say so. As a result I felt freer and stronger. After confronting that terror and anxiety leading up to that reading, the normal nervousness associated with getting up in front of strangers or doing something new paled by comparison.

A couple weeks ago, someone told me about the Writers' Program at Float On, a facility in Portland that has sensory deprivation float tanks, and I felt that irrational terror once again. Which is why I decided to do it. Contrary to my imagination, it was a very pleasant, very non-scary experience. I'm looking forward to floating again next week and seeing what comes up.

ROW80 Update

A long, loud scream (& ROW80 Round 4 Goals)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Photo by Rick Campbell

My feet-dragging turned into a full-blown crisis of confidence when I sat down to apply to a couple of writing residencies yesterday. While I still found my artist's statement inspiring, as I read through my completed stories, rolling my eyes at any perceived imperfection, all I could think was, "This isn't good enough. I'm not good enough."

Good enough for what? For someone to pick me, to think I'm worth investing in as a writer. Good enough to have someone give me free room and board and possibly to pay me a stipend as well. Good enough for someone else to think it's any good.

My writing doesn't fit the contemporary trend. It doesn't fit what I was taught was "good writing" in my college creative writing courses. It doesn't look or sound like the writing I admire. There is an element of my writing not yet being equal to my taste level, but more than that it's an issue of my writing being different.

Another residency

a post researched by Andrea Scovel and co-written by Andrea and Sione

This past week Andrea has been researching literary awards (post coming Wednesday) and came across one more residency. We both thought the prize was so awesome that we wanted to include it here as an addendum to last week's post on fellowships and residencies.

Madeleine P. Plonsker Emerging Writer's Residency Prize: It is sponsored by Lake Forest College in Chicago and &NOW Books. Emerging writers under 40 years of age with "no major book publication” are eligible to apply. 

Writing fellowships and residencies

a guest post by Andrea Scovel (@AndreaScovel1)

I began researching fellowships and residencies, not really even knowing what they were. If you’re like me and completely in the dark, let me explain: a fellowship is a fund put together by a group of people for a certain cause (in these cases, to help writers). A residency is usually a mentorship program wherein the awardee may receive a stipend and live in an inspiring environment while working on a project.

This research turned out to be an emotional journey. I was so touched that there are people in this world who care enough about writers and other artists to actually raise and set aside money to help them get by so that they can write and develop the kind of career that they have always dreamed of; the intention behind it all is just so beautiful. Even though a lot of people apply for these awards, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t bother; you never know what the judges will find interesting. 

Residencies